I like burritos more than Jesus because steak burritos are delicious. And they're real.

I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant...because I believe in myself.

When people go through something rough in life, they say, "I'm taking it one day at a time." Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.

I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, 'Why do you want to work at Starbucks?' Uh, because my life is in shambles.

I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.

I want to just at least make it weird for you to watch Cosby Show reruns.

Don't thank the lord, I gave you that compliment... Thank me.

My nephew's always crying. I'm like, 'Dude, why are you crying? Your life is great. All you do is eat apple sauce and take dumps. That's your day.

I don't want to die before Will Smith 'cause then I miss that awesome 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' marathon.

Acting is fun; it's easier than writing, and if you get on a [TV] show, it draws people to your stand-up. That's ultimately what I'd like to do.

There have been times I've been out, and my phone battery is at nine percent, and I was like, 'Time to go home.'

Remembrance of things past is just for the rich. For the poor it only marks the faint traces on the path to death.

Fear is the glue that holds us together.

No quality or characteristic is more important than trust

A friend who will never fail is the one who will stand by you regardless of the situation, time or location.

I never knew of a morning in Africa when I woke that I was not happy.

[In Eritrea] in key positions - president, government, police - everybody's the same [color]. It's a country run by its people. No racial class, everybody feels a part of it.

I had been sort of a rising star - an athlete, a scholar, a leader. My dream was to become a high-level national security adviser.

What is the world coming to?

Be an independent thinker at all times, and ignore anyone who attempts to define you in a limiting way.

The machinery of the democratic process is really no different today from what it was 150 years ago.