I like criticism, but it must be my way.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

A simple flap of a butterfly's wings can change the course of your destiny forever.

Things of today? Deeds which are harvest for Eternity!

Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.

Your heart, Bessie, is an autumn garage.

An awful lot of people are living only a foot above high water and do not know it.

If we focus on the minuses, we go down the spiral. But if we are able to focus on the pluses, we can become stronger and put more meaning into our life.

Quality management is needed because nothing is simple anymore, if indeed it ever was.

Those who seem to load the public taste are, in general, merely outrunning it in the direction which it is spontaneously pursuing.

I have a beautiful wife and two beautiful children, and every day I am paid to do what I love.