I like doing all different types of comedy - stand-up, sketch, movies, TV. I like to try everything.

A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I can't help it.

I'm not sure why I like cats so much. I mean, they're really cute obviously. They are both wild and domestic at the same time.

I like the comedians that go into detail and tell longer stories.

Love is such a confusing word. You think I'm joking but I'm not.

I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world.

In real life, comedians aren't funny.

I knew that if I was going to write a book, I was going to have to read one, too.

I tend to a lot of improvisational ranting, and that's fun. For me, stand-up has been, performance-wise, a really good outlet.

Cats are unpredictable because they're wild and domestic at the same time. Watching a cat's behavior is like a small window into the wild.

Maybe in 10 years,I'll only be doing "classical" comedy. Or crashing my car into trees.

The light extinguishes all the flaming arrows of darkness.

I personally translated the word 'vendetta' as Italian for 'What do you mean, "you want to see other women"?

Compulsory education... It is a painful, continual, and difficult work; to be done by kindness, by watching, by warning, by precept, and by praise, — but above all — by example.

I feel like I've been shut in a closet, and he's on the other side, and he doesn't have the key to unlock the door.

School gets in the way of my learning.

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

I heard Amos yell, “For Brooklyn!” It was an odd battle cry.

Grace cannot forgive unconfessed sin.

You have not traveled enough," she said. "Or you'd know that every journey makes its own map across your heart.

Christians are losers.