I like getting married, but I don't like being married.

Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all.

I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.

Maxwell is serious, dedicated, awkward, forgetful, pompous to a certain degree, sentimental.

I am a quick study - I can memorize a script in an hour - but I can't remember a name three seconds. I've even forgotten my wife's name on occasion.

It was a special show that became a cult classic of sorts, and I made a lot of money for it.

I remember that the priest finally said to me, 'You wouldn't like to have a religion that makes things easy for you.' Now I know that both faith and intellect are components of religious belief.

I did movie star impressions as a kid in high school. Somehow they just got out of hand.

Teachers have three loves: love of learning, love of learners, and the love of bringing the first two loves together.

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words.

Her hand rose to her lips and she stared up at the stars, feeling her heart grow, and grow, and grow.

... life wasn't full of problems, it was rich with decisions.

I think Barack Obama is gonna go down as the worst president ever, frankly. I used to say that about Jimmy Carter but I think he's gonna be surpassed.

Most enlightened people can do miracles. Some have powers, some don't. Some people who have developed powers aren't enlightened.

In metropolitan cases, the love of the most single-eyed lover, almost invariably, is nothing more than the ultimate settling of innumerable wandering glances upon some one specific object.

I smile and think; This is my job, this is what I do for a living, and its what I’ve always wanted

In terms of quantity, we've probably already reached the limit of what's feasible. I think a change of direction may be what's needed.

Philosophizing is a process of making sense out of experience.