I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.-Calvin

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.

I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.

Calvin: Why are you crying mom?Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.

Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.

...all kinds of images swim like tropical fish in the bathysphere inside my skull ...

He had taken to asking himself WWPD? (What Would Pia Do?)

Only sing - don't do cheap songs, don't do silly songs, just do, just do wonderful songs that are well-written.

My dark side, my shadow, my lower companion is now in the back room blowing up balloons for kids' parties.

I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who didn’t really care much about what people thought about them.. but I don’t think I am.

The only thing I'm afraid of is bees. I don't like bees. I'm allergic to them.

Freedom unexercised may become freedom forfeited.

There are many true ladies, and they differ somewhat from society generally. So does a true gentleman, on the same principle of refinement and nobility of character.

The people who are opposing the policy of apartheid have not the courage of their convictions. They do not marry non-Europeans.