I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

You have to have some level of attachment, you can still have passion and believe but it has to be softened somewhat.

Emotions of every color create the rich work of art that is life.

Moving on sometimes is the best way to take all the bricks that life throws at you, and building a castle to chillax

My heart isn't big enough to care for the oppressors.

If I were John LennonAnd my feelings for you grew, I'd have left The BeatlesTo spend all my time with you

What God intended for you goes far beyond anything you can imagine.

If a man marries his housekeeper or his cook, the national dividend is diminished.

We're the only dance in town. We don't compete with any professional teams for the entertainment dollar.

He that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

I'm confident of what I have to achieve in the buildup to London 2012.

The victims of crime have been transformed into a group oppressively burdened by a system designed to protect them.