I like that kind of 'straight-faced' comedy. I like to be straight-faced and outrageous.

Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.

Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.

Doing nothing is very tough to do because you never know when you're finished. The upside is that from the moment you wake up in the morning, you're on the job.

I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important.

One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up.

There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking.

It doesn't really matter where I go (Heaven or Hell). I'll have plenty of friends in both places.

Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline.

Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts.

Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.

It's your words that gave me courage. It became my light that would guide me towards the right path again. -Jellal Fernandes

I didn't say no because between safety and adventure I choose adventure.

I think children have a degree of wisdom totally unknown by adults

I certainly derived my skills as a prose writer from my scrutiny of poetry and of the individual word. But schools don't do things like that anymore - tracking words down to their roots.

It occured to me that we will never be young again.

I am a simpleton at heart. In my personal life, I don't wear makeup.

Besides, humans aren't prey. They are our natural enemies. They are to be avoided.

It's incredible. Everything you ever thought about love just becomes night and day. I mean, you never thought you could love that much. You rediscover the world, and it's just a beautiful thing.

What has spread all over the world is not yoga. It is not even non-yoga; it is un-yoga.

The meekest of animals will fight bravely when it is backed against a wall, for it has nothing left to lose. A poor man is more deadly than a rich man because he puts less value on his own life.