I like that we don't have to come out the first 10 minutes and score, you know, with joke, joke, joke. We can open it in a more novel way and keep playing different pranks as we go through the thing.

I mean, when I started out I was billing per hour, like a shrink because you would sit with somebody and work. But most of it, if it's for a live show it's usually a buy-out. A flat fee.

They make a humongous profit, but the people that work on the shows don't get paid a lot because they're working on the Oscars show. It's the biggest show in the world.

It's the biggest party in the world, and you have to keep the whole thing percolating, which is difficult because a lot of awards most people don't care about.

Eddie Izzard is absolutely brilliant. I would love to write something for him.

I mean, I've sold all these scripts and nothing's been made. Studios have closed, stars have died. I had a director find Jesus. And the pictures just don't get made.

I write screenplays that don't get made and pilots that don't get picked up, and I re-write other people's movies, and those are all different kinds of fees.

I've written about 15 screenplays and they all sold - they were all sold on pitches.

What makes me laugh? Richard Nixon always made me laugh.

I do a lot of screen re-writing.

I have one rave New York Times review framed next to a flop Los Angeles Times review. And it's for the same show. These people watched the same show. That's what happens. They love it, they hate it.

If I weren't so depressed, I'd kill myself.

If you find yourself always worrying about what the people around you would say if you start being your true positive self, this would mean that you are yet to bond with your true purpose on earth.

I'm really happy to see the explosion of interest in Korean food, and this hybrid Korean-American food.

That in man which cannot be domesticated is not his evil but his goodness.

Raise your hands in the air, pump your fists, and solemnly swear to rock the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

Despair puts the last touch not only to our misery but also to our weakness.

Write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.

The central icon of Catholic Christianity is mother and child. That motif is so deep in not just our human experience but in our animal, biological past.

I don't like movies about serial killers, necessarily; it's too real and unpleasant for me.

I'm hoping that these series, that originally aired in the 80's and 90's, prove to be as entertaining online and on portable devices as they were when first broadcast on network television.