I like the guitar-driven music of Nirvana at its peak. At that point, I thought there was a lot of really exciting music coming out.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

A gracious soul is kind hearted.

Once you have endured sufferings, you can give someone strength.

If a theory can not be explained to a child, then the theory is probably worthless.

You’re a cow Give me some milk Or else go home

The only actor who I think probably might have possibly taken a swing at me if he could have would be Burt Reynolds. He used to call Roger and me the Bruise Brothers, out of Chicago.

I'm making records, my fans they can't wait. They write me letters, tell me I'm great.

I started out as a molecules kid. In high school and early college I loved chemistry, but I gradually shifted toward physics, which seemed cleaner - odorless, in fact.

You'll never learn to act in Hollywood. Not in a thousand years.

Hope and despair ignore one another's cries.

Couldn't you see me and you stretched out in a bikini on the beach in Tahiti? See, me, I'm very selective even though I could be greedy; My main objective is to write our names together in graffiti.