I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

My father once told me that it’s not enough for a man to be lucky

No good ever comes of pride, for it is the meanest of mean things, and no one but he who is full of it thinks it grand.

In dark days, your best shelter is your clever thoughts!

That decision to use basically all white models, reveals a trait that is unbecoming to modern society. It can no longer be accepted...

One of my goals is to inspire everyone I meet to become a better person.

Statistics don't lie. It's the people who make up the statistics that lie.

I've come from nowhere, and I'm not shy to go back.

Only a dog would lick a finger pointed in anger.

In the end, it’s not about failure, it’s about how much you love what you do.

We all wore a 21 patch that one season as a silent tribute to our deceased teammate Roberto.