I like to see people laugh who are normally serious.

Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.

Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.'

Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.

In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.

The man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of 97. He asked to be buried with the creator of Fritos and Cheetos in a variety pack.

I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.

I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.

Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.

I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.

None of us are ordinary – we just settle into ordinary lives.

…When you’ve know me longer, you’ll learn that I mean everything I say.”“Even the lies?”“Especially the lies. Lord Petyr…

Architecture, of all the arts, is the one which acts the most slowly, but the most surely, on the soul.

A doubtful throne is ice on summer seas.

This is rock'n'roll, not classical music. It's about people working together.

It may be true that the unexamined life is not worth living-but neither is the unlived life worth examining.

It is very reasonable to worry about the harm done by organized religion, and to prefer looser and more private arrangements.

Hollywood works continually to keep its standard of contempt for the audience.

Every GP Masters race will stand out because we will be available for fans, media and sponsors.

I was making a film [Dream of Life] about Patti [Smith], but I was taking pictures, too.