I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn't show the dirt.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

We all choose our way of life, and that makes us who we are. We're not a reflection of our choice, we're a choice.

Contentment should not be confused with smugness… Contentment is being happy despite of the successes and failures.

I a stranger and afraid in a world I never made.

Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life.

I always take the audience into account.

We need to find a balance between protecting our local economies while pursuing the longer-term goal of producing clean, affordable and reliable power.

If women experienced the ecstasy of birth, they would have the high that would get them through the hormonal changes of the next week. Your body and your inner wisdom give you that high.

In old days men studied for the sake of self-improvement; nowadays men study in order to impress other people.

Be gentle with yourself. Kiss away your (imagined) faults and remember, if you saw you as God sees you, you would smile a lot.

there is nothing more American than the trade-union movement.