I like to skate on the other side of the ice.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

There's no need to blame fate or destiny for a stupid decision.

...nothing at all rides on the life or death of the individual.

If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.

Magic gives you a lot of choices," Grandad says. "Most of them are bad.

The greatest leaders build organizations that, in the end, don't need them.

The most important things in a painting are Form and Value. Color comes last - like a friend you welcome.

I know what I want in life: I want the life itself!

I think no matter what the occasion may be, you can never go wrong by showing up at the dinner table with a hot plate of fried chicken.

Geeks like to think that they can ignore politics, you can leave politics alone, but politics won't leave you alone.

Don't be evil is a load of crap.