I like to stay in a hotel where it's a dome of silence. I can sit in my room and do nothing.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

The worst thing about new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones.

Never act in fear nor lose hope.

I’m in a secret underground hideout of a group of monster hunters, filled with magical totems, brass monkeys that move and enough firepower to take over a small country.

William F. Buckley was a man who had a great capacity for fun and for amusing himself by amazing others.

Folic acid deficiency does the same thing as radiation.

Fog and smog should not be confused and are easily separated by color.

The status of 'native' is a nervous condition introduced and maintained by the settler among colonized people with their consent.

Means must be subsidiary to ends and to our desire for dignity and value.

How many days do you have that are just purely dramatic? How many days do you have that are just purely comedic? It's usually a combination and I think that's what real life feels like.

I think that's what centers me the most - all my people, all my animals.