I like to take advantage of the simple-minded because I can.

I got this bad allergy - I'm allergic to bullshit.

The saddest moment in a child's life is not when he learns that Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns that Vince Russo is.

Rick Steiner is so stupid, he once stayed up all night to study for a urine test.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Vince Russo has been there in which case the grass is most likely dead.

Rick Steiner is so stupid, it takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

Vince Russo destroyed the Periodic Table as he only recognises the element of surprise.

I heard last year at [insert name]'s birthday party they had to set up mirrors to make it look like a crowd.

Hulk Hogan, you may be a household word, but so is garbage, and it stinks when it gets old too.

Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!

Eventually, even a blind squirell will find an acorn.

This is the team. We're trying to go to the moon. If you can't put someone up, please don't put them down.

Idris: Are all people like this?The Doctor: Like what?Idris: So much bigger on the inside.

Unbelief in the supernatural is a belief in its own nature.

If you don't think every day is a good day, just try missing one.

No matter how strong the storm, how hard the rain and how vicious the wind there is always a gap in the clouds for the light to shine through

To be without sympathy is to be alone in the world--without friends or country, home or kindred.

Spirituality is the intersection of three paths: letting go of ego, an unconditional yes to the conditions of human existence, and an immeasurable compassion.

Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.

Some men, at the approach of a dispute, neigh like horses.

The experience of surprise is a sign of one's readiness to grow.