I like to tell stories that have beginnings, middles and ends.

Kids aint supposed to be grateful! They're supposed to eat your food, break your heart.

It's hard asking someone with a broken heart to fall in love again.

I've had a lifelong obsession with urban legends and American folklore.

Television showrunners are a foolishly optimistic bunch.

Beyond all our Blackberries and iPhones, we're dangerously separated from our food and water supplies.

We are definitely living in the butterfly effect theory, where any change that is made in the past is going to have a very logical cause-and-effect ramification of the present.

I've always said at the beginning of every single season of the show when I was running the show in the writers' room, "This is the last season, so let's smoke 'em if we've got 'em."

When I am kicking around show ideas, or really any idea, usually an image comes to me. I don't really start with a character or a logline like, "What if the electricity turned off?"

Your half-caff double vanilla latte is getting cold over here, Francis.

People simply don't make eye contact anymore.

Most people live lives that are full of mysteries, lives whose ultimate purpose we may never really understand. But for the sake of serenity, we must believe in life’s nobleness.

Your wolf is eating that man. I thought you should know.

It's just that it's fearsome for a man to have a woman start thinking right in front of him. It always leads to trouble.

Questions are only offensive to those who have something to hide

We must consider what Miss. Fairfax quits, before we condemn her taste for what she goes to.

How you see the world is a reflection of what is within you.

Whiffle [whine and wheeze and snuff and sniffle]: The annoying scratchy sound made by weepy feminists as they lament the sufferings of women and, houndlike, sniff out evidence of male oppression.

In a study that I just did, I found that it was older children, not younger children, who felt that they didn't have enough time with their parents.

Take what you have and make what you want.

When some men discharge an obligation, you can hear the report for miles around.