I like when people give up chocolate for Lent. Ooh, just like being nailed to a cross.

People always want to compare their dogs to having kids. That's insulting. First of all, nobody has a dog because they were too drunk to pull out.

It's all about self-esteem now. Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who's gonna dance in our strip-clubs?

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If Bill Gates had got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?

You try not to have a favorite when you have sons or kids. Can't have a favorite. Can't let them know know if you do. I don't. I treat my main son and the other two exactly the same way.

In catholisism we have an entire religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story

If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.

People come to this country from all over the world to pursue their dreams of driving a taxi or selling hot dogs or working in a sweatshop.

Seventy-two virgins - does that make sense to anyone? And it's an ancient religion, maybe it was misinterpreted? Maybe it's not 72 virgins, maybe it's a 7-foot-2 Persian.

We're a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality.

Norm MacDonald is here - one of the funniest people ever. Norm's got a giant gambling problem. He's dropped more coin in a casino than Michael J. Fox at a parking meter.

They're the ones inside a soap bubble. Not me.

If the poet would avoid pepsis in his patients, his scalpel must be as clean as the surgeon's.

There can be no unified southeastern Europe without Yugoslavia, and everything else is a continuation of political blackmail with which the Serb people and Yugoslavia were faced all these years.

The devil doesn't sit idly by while you seek God. If you're pursuing Christ, the enemy is pursuing you.

I am sent on assignments just like guys. I have covered presidential campaigns, natural disasters, tragedies, red carpets, medical stories and more.

We believe that colleges have a fundamental responsibility, if you're located in an urban area, to turn outward and address the needs of the communities you serve.

I could do without 'cool' publications calling me 'mom jazz.' But I laughed all the way to the bank, baby.

My gut sense is there's something necessary going on and if I'm too fearful or angry, I feel like I'm feeding it.

Luxury is not a static concept, but it shapes and changes with society. Now somebody who might not have the time to come to one of our boutiques can shop online.

Now ain nobody tell us it would be fair no love for my father cause the coward wasn't their" {Tu Pac Shukur}