I like whomever to come to my shows. I want people who want to see me to come see me. I don't want to force people. I don't want it to feel like a job!

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

In the act of creativity, the artist lets go the self-control which he normally clings to and is open to riding the wind.

Wherever you see an empty life, or an empty page or an empty mind, add something good to it!

I feel that the great challenge of our time is the communication of ideas.

Playing a character is an illusion, and I feel that when you know too much about a person, possibly part of that illusion is disrupted.

I am faced with a bruising dilemma: pay to fix the dishwasher or continue serving everything in waffle cones.

Wisdom at times is found in folly.

As an artist, you take things from your environment, and there's going to be a style coming out of your environment.

Only the truly magnanimous and strong are capable of forgiving and loving.

You grow, learn, and the more I can sit in silence and be comfortable with myself, the more I can make noise, as ironic and Zen Buddhist and satanic as it sounds!

This telegram is a work of art if I say it is.