I live life and I don't take it for granted.

Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly.

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets.

I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

Don't follow in my footsteps. Be original, and create your own path. Be a trailblazer! Do you! Be better than me. Do you! Be happy and have joy in your life.

I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that.

My father said: "If you want to catch your girl cheating, you knock on the front door and run to the back, because he's coming out the back."

I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.

Life is like a play: it's not the length, but the excellence of the acting that matters.

All your life you're yellow. Then one day you brush up against something blue, the barest touch, and voila, the rest of your life you're green.

I'm not the consolation prize, Dex. I'm not something you resort to. I happen to think I'm worth more than that.

There is a deep, abiding, unshakable satisfaction in a life of complete failure.

Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.

I did not set out to convert anyone to Christianity.

Anyone who wasn't half-stoned on pain meds would have instantly realized what a really bad idea this plan was, but since that didn't include me, I didn't worry about it.

Morality must guide calculation, and calculation must guide politics.

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

Your first great duties, you are sensible, are those you owe to Heaven, to your Creator and Redeemer. Let these be ever present to your minds, and exemplified in your lives and conduct.