I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Silence is the invisibility of talking. I'd take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I'd take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day, unless it's Tuesday.

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words.

Without ambition, no goal can be met.

Success is always available to anyone who is willing to pay its affordable price. Stop making excuses.

One man's meat is another's poison.

I have a choice: Do I want to align with the GREATEST VISION OF MYSELF or Do I want to align with my EXCUSES?

And much of Madness, and more of Sin, And Horror the soul of the plot.

Humor is a show of both strength and of vulnerability: you are willing to make the first move but you are trusting in the response of your listener.

Economists are economical, among other things, of ideas; most make those of their graduate days do for a lifetime.

The thorough bred against a clamor, or rather the Porsche vs. the pickup truck.