I'll be happy if I can just stay out of Nebraska.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

Authority without wisdom is like a heavy axe without an edge, fitter to bruise than polish.

You find peace not by creating but by giving.

Night is when the whispers of the past become the echoes of the present.

A mythological image that has to be explained to the brain is not working.

What you can't get out of get into wholeheartedly.

I love 'Annie Hall, ' but then I adore 'Hannah and Her Sisters.' Dianne Wiest is amazing in 'Bullets Over Broadway, ' but her in 'Hannah and Her Sisters, ' I absolutely loved it.

Hey 'Bachelor,' take notes! Trusting one another and sharing a journey to health leads to lasting relationships!

My mom is a gym teacher, and shes not musically inclined, but she always wanted to help me out with music as best she could.

This weakening is worsened by the widening distance between the governed and their governments.

Stay in the spiritual fire. Let it cook you.