I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

What use is of an eye to be open if it's not there to see! Shouldn't it rather be gauged or closed for it deceives?

The philosophy behind much advertising is based on the old observation that every man is really two men - the man he is and the man he wants to be.

Gaiety alone as it were is the hard cash of happiness everything else is just a promissory note.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter.

Any one who is prosperous may by the turn of fortune's wheel become most wretched before evening.

There are two categories of women. Those who are women and those who are men's wives.

I think that's the great thing, ya' know, that women can do anything that they want now.

What was the use of my having come from Oakland it was not natural to have come from there yes write about it if I like or anything if I like but not there, there is no there there.

My goal in life was to pursue the good life.

This will surprise some of your readers, but my primary interest is not with computer security. I am primarily interested in writing software that works as intended.