I'll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I've never got over it.

On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't, he said: Do you mind if I mug you here?

When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won.

My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.

I was trying to organise my DVDs into a sort of chronological order, and I am afraid that it all trailed off after the Sixties.

I don't consider myself a fashion victim. I consider fashion a victim of me.

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?

All disc jockeys are without talent. Noel Edmonds - I can't stand Noel Edmonds.

If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't done it.

I don't always vote in general elections, but I think I've always voted Labour.

If you became a comedian in the '80s, you had to work the circuit and make people laugh. Canned laughter is cheating.

I'm not into smoke-filled rooms. I don't have the time for byzantine political intrigues.

Somewhere around twenty-five, bizarre becomes immature.

The wise man understands his weakness and seeks to find a lesson from it. The fool lets it control and destroy him.

Children's reading and children's thinking are the rock-bottom base upon which this country will rise.

California is an unbelievable state. One day I might be in a spiritual place like Joshua Tree, then before I know it, I'm eating groovy sushi in a mini-mall. I'm a Cali girl through and through.

Of man's miraculous mistakes, this bears The palm, "That all men are about to live."

I was always fascinated by politics, and I did not like the direction the country was going under Bill Clinton.

In every operation there is an above the line and a below the line. Above the line is what you do by the book. Below the line is how you do the job.

I am restless. I don't mind leaving this comfortable, static life. I could live a year on my own in a remote village.

There is Life in every breath.