I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Her primary reason for living and my primary reason for living were awfully entangled.

I'll kiss your feet if you'd scratch my nose.

You take a guy like George Clooney who goes out there to Darfur, and gets things done! That's magical. He's done a great thing.

We human beings have a remarkable way of growing accustomed to things.

An honest design communicates solely the functions and values it offers. It does not attempt to manipulate buyers and users with promises it cannot keep.

Both princes and princesses belong in palaces of power, but the doors won't always open unless you fight for your rights.

There's enough Ferraris here to eat a plate of spaghetti.

How do you make a compass? Uhhh hmmm so if I was a compass how would I make myself?

It's always fun to try something new. People think every avenue has been explored on TV, but this has never been done. That, in itself, really excites me.