I'll sign anything except bad legislation.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

Evolution did not design us to believe only true facts, nor to buy only useful products, nor to say only meaningful sentences

We sleep 1/3 of our lives away.

Rose and I have gone on the most incredible journey over the past two years

Wert thou all that I wish thee, great, glorious, and free, First flower of the earth and first gem of the sea.

Material things aside, we need not advice but approval.

Absolute truth is not dependent upon public opinion or popularity. Now what is this truth? It is His gospel. It is the gospel of Jesus Christ.

That's what we do on "MasterChef," on "Junior." No school teachers, no parents, let it go. You're going to go on a challenge. We're going to go to hell and back, and we're going to have some bumps.

You just make the best movie you can and hope for the best, because you don't have any control over what happens with the movie, whether the movie is misinterpreted.

We know of no more crucial civil rights issue facing Congress today than the need to increase the federal minimum wage and extend its coverage.

Some girls are just born with glitter in their veins.