I'll tell you what can make bacon better... nothing.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

My scientific work is motivated by an irresistible longing to understand the secrets of nature not by other feelings.

Imagination is essential and it comes first, for without imagination we are aimless.

Forgiveness is an absolute necessity for continued human existence.

When we argue for our limitations, we get to keep them.

For students, the evolution-creation discussion can be a useful exercise, for it can help develop their critical thinking skills.

It seems I’m getting fresher everytime I turn around.

I'm always cautious about overstepping any boundaries. At the end of the day, it's a director's medium, and if they don't want to hear from me I just step back.

Shows were very different then - even as the headliner we did a very short set by today's standards and sound systems were really primitive. But the girls made it all worthwhile!

It is not right to associate the fight against international terrorist networks with an imaginary crusade against Islam.

The island is in Kenya, the water is in Uganda... But the [Luos, a Kenyan ethnic group] are mad, they want to fish here but this is Uganda.