I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which is the original thing which I thought was funny.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

When your ideas shatter established thought, expect blowback.

To understand a program, you must become both the machine and the program.

There is no handbook about how a career is going to go.

Rock n' roll is very special to me. It's my lifeblood.

Because handsomeness is always accompanied by vanity.And I suppose ugliness is accompanied by a wealth of virtues?

One will develop ruchi (liking) for chanting of the holy names, when one has compassion for each and every living being.

The center line of science literacy - which not many people tell you, but I feel this strongly, and I will go to my grave making this point - is how you think.

I mean, of course, I love sci-fi and stuff like that, but I'm not, like, a comic book crazy guy.

I am a cat. As yet I have no name

Well, no, I didn't because I didn't even know the nominations were coming out. I gotta say, it wasn't even on my radar. I hadn't... I hadn't even thought about it.