I look forward to the day when I can be Republican again. I'm an Alan Simpson Republican.

He's a million rubber bands in his resilience.

If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters.

An educated man is thoroughly inoculated against humbug, thinks for himself and tries to give his thoughts, in speech or on paper, some style.

There is no "slippery slope" toward loss of liberty, only a long staircase where each step down must first be tolerated by the American people and their leaders.

Those who travel the high road of humility are not troubled by heavy traffic.

We have two political parties in this country, the Stupid Party and the Evil Party. I belong to the Stupid Party.

I consider abortion to be a deeply personal and intimate issue for women and I don't believe male legislators should even vote on the issue.

Now it's just sharp elbows, and instead of having a caucus where you sit down and say, 'What are you doing for your country?' you sit figuring out how to screw the other side.

If you torture statistics long enough, they'll eventually confess the truth

Grandchildren now don't write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward, listening to the Enema Man and Snoopy, Snoopy Poop Dog.

eat whatever you meet along the way.If you come late don't eat but wack yours with hers.

Relationships should have some limitations, because without limitations one cannot maintain his respect and love.

In my experience, what every true artist wants, really wants, is to be paid.

If Nature built by rule and square, Than man what wiser would she be? What wins us is her careless care, And sweet unpunctuality.

I was so shy and when my sister was born I found it hard. I was really strange and kind of too quiet.

As for the fan, she agreed that it was a most amusing trifle: just what she would wish to buy for herself, if it had not been so excessively ugly!

We're doing Circle of Snakes, we open up with Skin Carver and we are throwing in Skull Forest later on.

Chess is beautiful enough to waste your life for.

While I am not a scientist, and write primarily on economics, tax policy and budget issues, I have been fascinated over the years by Heartland's work on climate change.

You can never go more than three or four hours without having something to nibble on or eat - you have to graze all day long.