I love acting, but it's all just a bonus.

Velcro: what a rip-off.

Black beauty - he's a dark horse.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

Ive decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.

I went out on a date with Simile. I don't know what I metaphor.

I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.'

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

If I could sleep with my arms around you, the ink could stay in the bottle.

A year ago, ' I said, 'you wouldn’t have asked this of me.''A year ago, ' he answered, 'you wouldn’t have hesitated to drink.' I crossed to the desk and tossed it down.

To cut off the confusion and accept an answer just because it's too scary not to have an answer is a good way to get the wrong answer.

There is a vast difference between living according to one's idea of what it is to be good, and actually being that way.

How foolish it is to run away with a man who's already run away with someone else.

I am like a caricature of myself, and I like that. It is like a mask. And for me the Carnival of Venice lasts all year long.

We use a lot of creativity and new technology, cutting edge things to use in our church, but really what it comes down to is God changing a life.

When lightning strikes, the mouse is sometimes burned with the farm.

Hasn’t anyone ever told you? Life isn’t fair.

No matter how small, a favor deserves thanks.