I love all my children, but some of them I don't like.

I know folks all have a tizzy about it, but I like a little bourbon of an evening. It helps me sleep. I don't much care what they say about it.

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'

Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day.

Jimmy says he'll never tell a lie. Well, I lie all the time. 1 have to - to balance the family ticket.

If I had one wish for my children, it would be that each of them would reach for goals that have meaning for them as individuals.

I'm not a homosexual and I don't smoke pot, so what would I say?

I don't think about risks much. I just do what I want to do. If you gotta go, you gotta go.

We may not return the affection of those who like us, but we always respect their good judgment.

Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off lights for economical rather than romantic reasons.

Don't Trust BlindlyIf in shark infested waters, don't assume the fin coming toward you is a dolphin.

Sand was dribbling out of the bag of her attention, faster and faster.

It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.

I learned to impersonate the kind of person that talks about poetry. It comes from teaching, I think.

The yogi learns to forget the past and takes no thought for the morrow. He lives in the eternal present.

Lord save us from off-handed, flabby-cheeked, brittle-boned, weak-kneed, thin-skinned, pliable, plastic, spineless, effeminate, ossified, three-karat Christianity.

They needed to share one secret after another with a beautiful woman, to peel away layer after layer, mask after mask, and still find themselves worshiped.

It's not your word that matters, it's who you give it too.

My role was to bring about fairness in the workplace. All I did was implement the laws that were currently on the books.

The best advice I was ever given was on my twenty-first birthday when my father said, Son, here's a million dollars. Don't lose it.