I love being a dad, and I'm a great dad.

Self-worth and financial worth become indistinguishable.

I don't make the stereotypes, I just see them.

If you're politically correct, chances are you're not coming to one of my shows. I get to go onstage and say things that everybody thinks all the time, but can't say out loud.

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white.

I DJ and I'm a harsh critic of DJs.

Stand-up and boxing are very similar. You're the only one out there, you're going into a fight, and you're going in with a game plan.

Azhar Usman is very funny, deeply spiritual, and extremely hairy. He's like Zach Galifianakis meets Deepak Chopra-and funnier than you'd expect that combination to be.

I'm not a media darling. I'm forever the outsider, for whatever the reason is.

Who I am on stage is just an amped up version of who I am in real life.

I do a lot of cultural material that's based on my traveling around the world. I basically just report what I've seen and where I've been.

The prime purpose of education is to enhance the ability to think better.

Ernest Ransom: These are not the best if times...as your editorials remind us A.A. Hayes : Why not get a Democrat back in there? Ernest Ransom: These are not the worst of times eithers Dingley Falls

We can use meditation as a way to experiment with new ways of relating to ourselves, even our uncomfortable thoughts.

Do you love me enough that I may be weak with you? Everyone loves strength, but do you love me for my weakness? That is the real test.

My idols are Richard Dreyfuss, Michael Keaton, John Goodman. Maybe that's what I want for me.

It is not wise for Chinese to do things to artificially disrupt relations with the U.S.

Life's too short not to laugh about yourself and the cards you're dealt.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

Fathers are men who give daughters away to other men who aren't nearly good enough...so they can have grandchildren who are smarter than anybody's.

We shouldn't turn the safety net into a hammock. It should actually be a safety net.