I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.

What are your interests?""Your son in my room, " I said."Excuse me?""The sun and the moon, " I said. "Astronomy.

It's kind of a camaraderie in the comedy community, people are kind of proud of how badly they go down sometimes, and it's quite nice to join in with that.

You couldn't make a cheap drama. That would be too low-budget. Drama has to have good photography and well-known actors.

Love is mysterious and rad, like Steve Perry from Journey

I think it's pathetic that women and men treat each other worse than we treat our pets. It's love or hate.

I am now in control of all things.

The Democratic Party needs to look carefully at moving towards the middle, where the American people are.

A relationship is not two halves coming together to make a whole. Each of you is already complete.

I think Brian Moore's gnashers are the kind you get from a DIY shop and hammer in yourself. He is the only player we have who looks like a French forward.

BE A STUDENT BY STAYING OPEN AND WILLING TO LEARN FROM EVERYONE AND ANYONE.