I love catching a snapshot of something that is just about to happen. Or maybe something that just happened, you know. But I like especially that just-before kind of feeling.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Never put yourself in a position to be made an example of.

God only gives men power to make wealth, meaning God does not give wealth, he gives the power to work for it. (Deut. 8:18)

Wisdom is not merchandise, hence it is possible to come across a rich fool.

It's not in the life, it's in the living.

People speculate on your personal life all the time anyway. So I just think it's important to keep my private life private and my public persona more into music, you know?

Do something, by God’s help, to make heaven more full and hell more empty.

It was by the sober sense of our citizens that we were safely and steadily conducted from monarchy to republicanism, and it is by the same agency alone we can be kept from falling back.

When people realize that they have been forgiven of everything, it becomes a little bit easier for them to forgive others.

For 'Rocky II,' I got a torn pectoral muscle, I got all beat up inside, I had to have an operation to splice things back together.

A man who knows not his limitations is of no use to anyone.