I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker

You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT

I stop fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. T-shirt

We're like the Three Musketeers, searching for truth and justice and the American way.: Glitch snorted. "More like the Three Blind Mice, stumbling around trying to find a hunk of cheese in the dark.

I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.

I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.

I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT

Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.

The scriptures are just books. It all depends on you, whether you are going to learn goodness and compassion from them, or use them to destroy your environment.

Certainly no beast has essayed the boundless, infinitely inventive art of human hatred. No beast can match its range and power.

Purpose stirs creativity, without purpose you life will be in abnormal use(abuse).

Writing is always a solitary experience, but living, if you're lucky, is not.

Tonight I'm stepping lightly and I'm feeling no pain.

ISIS happened a number of years ago in a vacuum that was left because of bad judgment. And I will tell you, I will take care of ISIS.

Actually, I can't imagine anything more tedious than a perfect person, especially if it was someone who also demanded perfection from me.

We live in a unipolar world at this point with America as a moral arbiter and the whole morality is based on this insane corporatocracy.

Vaccines save lives; fear endangers them. It's a simple message parents need to keep hearing.

If my wife hears one more report that I'm joining Hillary's campaign I'm going to have to go in the Pundit Protection Program.