I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously.

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.

Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?

Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.

Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.

Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.

If there was a God, he'd guide the winds, let them blow for me so that, with a tug of my string, I'd cut loose my pain, my longing.

He seemed like he was baiting me to ask, like he wanted me to know his troubles but wanted me to ask first.

My doctrine is this that if we see cruelty or wrong that we have the power to stop and do nothing we make ourselves sharers in the guilt.

I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.

Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys are simply the best band that ever was.

Bright star, would I were steadfast as thou art-- Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night And watching, with eternal lids apart, Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite.

one reason why I like writing poetry - you can say so many things in it that are true in poetry but wouldn't be true in prose.

Spacemen die if they stay in one place.

In our language rhyme is a barrel. A barrel of dynamite. The line is a fuse. The line smoulders to the end and explodes; and the town is blown sky-high in a stanza.

Among the thousand white persons, I am a dark rock surged upon, and overswept.