I love going to plays. There's a subconscious side to it, obviously-some people like to be spanked for XYZ psychological reasons, and I like to go to plays, and I can't entirely explain why.

For me, a play is a form of writing which isn't complete until it is interpreted by actors. But it's still a form of writing. And so most of my time is spent thinking about how to write a sentence.

It's obviously a characteristic of human beings that we like to feel superior to others, but our problem is we are not superior

Who says one instance of writing has anything in common with another instance?

Even with my wife, I find sharing soup is hard.

I have been vain since birth.

Sleep: a poor substitute for caffeine!

I spend most of my time thinking about things like laundry and buying stationery supplies.

I'm not proud to be me, I'm not excited to be me, but I find that I am me, and like most other individuals, I send out little signals; I tell everyone else how everything looks from where I am.

Patriotism is considered to be an emotion a person ought to feel. But why? Why is it nobler to love your own country than to love someone else's?

I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because when I look in a mirror it doesn't seem funny to me.

You have made the moon, " The Jester said. "That is the moon.

Men must endureTheir going hence, even as their coming hither.Ripeness is all.

Husbands and wives should understand that their first calling-from which they will never be released-is to one another and THEN to their children.

You are as good as the people you dress.

You have to be interested. If you're not interested, you can't be interesting.

I've always believed that if you support reform or you support a particular idea that you ought to fund that idea first and not the system.

In my case, I was covering politics in Texas as a newspaper man in the 1960's.

Every pair of eyes facing you has probably experienced something you could not endure.

Sad to say I’m missing the Masters. Thanks to the fans for so many kind wishes.

My body is a little bit sore from all of the practicing and playing and training