I love like I’m thirsty. Can I offer you a tall glass of Sahara sand?

If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.

To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.

I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.

Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.

She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.

If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.

Love is inaudible—until you hear it. And once you do, you’ll never forget the sound of her voice.

I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.

We had an unspoken love for one another. Probably because she’d never talk to me or return my phone calls or texts.

I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death.

How do you know when you're God?" "When I pray to him I find I am talking to myself.

I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

Some politicians like to kiss babies. I like to kiss the baby's mommas.

Let us not dream that reason can ever be popular. Passions, emotions, may be made popular; but reason remains ever the property of an elect few.

Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.

The people - could you patent the sun ?

The advice I would offer to any writer is that even when you think you have revised your book to the point where you cannot look at it again, it is time to sit down and revise it some more.

Allow the light and the healing presence of Christ to shine brightly through your lives. In that way, all those who come in contact with you will discover the loving kindness of God.

Paul welcomed hearbreak, disillusionment and tribulation for only one reason - - these things kept him immovable in his devotion to the gospel of God.

The world loves to be deceived.