I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.

Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?

Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.

Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.

Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.

Never consider another to be the cause of your suffering. Suffering is always the results of one’s own deeds or faults.

May you have fresh strength in the spring season.

Once heaven is done with grandma, we'd like her back, thanks.

You are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing.

A job is how you make money. A career is how you make your mark. A calling is how you acknowledge a higher vision, whatever it may be.

What is truer than truth? Answer: the story.

Freedom is dangerous. Possibly crawling on all fours might be safer than standing upright, but we like the view better up there.

It's so sad that no one writes down the things we go through, and even worse - no one will ever know about it, no one will ever see or hear about it, no one will ever be able to restore.

too great pity is the greatest cruelty.

The mainline media attacks all conservatives, especially Christians, and distorts their policies and beliefs so that the local population is afraid to vote for them.