I love my hunting dog. I loved my hunting dog - I'm not very good at hunting.

When one door closes another door opens. Usually a refrigerator.

I've been called a racist before, and let me tell you something - that is harsh. That's a really ugly thing to call someone. That's like being called a Mexican.

My sister might be dumb, but that doesn't make her all that different from the rest of us. She's just like any other American. Except she's Canadian. And retarded.

Well I grew up in Canada in a really small town. We didn't have running water for a long time and we didn't have TV. Then when we did get TV we only had one channel.

You know, women are burdened with all this other crap all the time, like looking good. You need to be really superhuman to be successful as a woman.

I guess the biggest issue my husband and I are going to have is how do we raise the baby... because he's Jewish and I'm Protestant and the baby's father is Catholic.

I grew up in a mixed religious household. And it was volatile. My dad's atheist, my mom's agnostic. Just constant fighting. There's no God! There might be!

If you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior - unless you're Jewish.

I don't think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses; the whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was I should cut my bangs.

Intellectually, I think everyone really knows that women are funny, but it's a weird thing that people keep trotting out.

No one determines your truth but you.You can’t paint your own self-portrait with someone else’s hand.

What is it about men that make women so lonely?

Heaven and Hell are within you. Choose wisely or to hell with you!

Women have helped shape our world, yet still do not receive the recognition and compensation they deserve.

If you think you are a vile slime, that means that you aspire to something higher...It's because you have a sense of perfection, and you obviously want that, that you find something wrong.

Nature puts no question and answers none which we mortals ask. She has long ago taken her resolution.

I think I'd rather have my heart broke than do the breaking. —Lena

I'm comfortable with my femininity, and I don't try to change what I look like just because I'm reporting on football at the end of the night.

Everything that you do under compulsion goes to build up attachment.

Anything inside that immobilizes me, gets in my way, keeps me from my goals, is all mine.