I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.

I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.

I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.

The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.

So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

I think Nancy Reagan felt so judged all the time and she felt so unlovable.

It’s not about the dress you wear, but it’s about the life you lead in the dress.

A gentlemen is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.

Only architecture that considers human scale and interaction is successful architecture.

But I'd far rather live without souls or morals than Parmesan.

I personally believe that war is highly unlikely.

The man who worries morning and night about the dandelions in the lawn will find great relief in loving the dandelions.

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

Life, not the parson, teaches conduct.

What’s your cause? Does it move you to tears? What is it that moves you passionately?