I love people who have such passion for complete nonsense.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

You should try to avoid using the words "should" and "try".

Grief is an element. It has its own cycle like the carbon cycle, the nitrogen. It never diminishes not ever. It passes in and out of everything.

When he laughed in his throat, the butterfly laughed at me too. It's obscene fluttering corrupted me into darkness.

The ideal man doesn't exist. A husband is easier to find.

To speak from a particular place and time is not provincialism but part of a writer's identity.

Innocence has nothing to dread.

I'm a bit of a lefty. I like the idea of art and music collectives.

Humor is the good natured side of a truth.

It is much easier to do something than to trust in God; we mistake panic for inspiration.

I love to ride my bike, which is great aerobics, but also just a great time for me to think, so it's like this terrific double bill.