I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public transport.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

The ladder of leadership can only stand firm on the grounds of integrity. Any other ground makes it unstable till it falls.

If you live only for yourself, dying is an especially scary proposition.

Alaska is what happens when Willy Wonka and the witch from Hansel and Gretel elope, buy a place together upstate, renounce their sweet teeth, and turn into health fanatics.

What you see on the campaign trail is me. It's easy being me.

I don't think things are moving toward an omega point; I think they're moving toward more diversity

Cold metal walks across my forehead, spiders search for my heart. It is a light that goes out in my mouth.

There does not exist a category of science to which one can give the name applied science. There are sciences and the applications of science, bound together as the fruit of the tree which bears it.

Why did I hesitate to put all this glory of the sun on my canvas?

Pigpen was and is now forever one of the Grateful Dead.

We all suffer from the preoccupation that there exists... in the loved one, perfection.