I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.

I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.

I'm a late-night guy.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.

Successful people recognize crisis as a time for change – from lesser to greater, smaller to bigger.

In times of trouble, turn to God.

No dimensions are closed to the ones in service of the Universal Law.

The average man, if he meddles with criticism at all, is a conservative critic.

We're gonna keep on doin' what we're doin', and we're gonna get it by all means. That's just what "ruthless" means to me. Everybody's got their own definition, but I'm ruthless with this music.

There's more pressure on women to be chirpy and perky.

I have always regarded historical fiction and fantasy as sisters under the skin, two genres separated at birth.

Novels, in my experience, are slow in coming, and once I've begun them I know I have years rather than months of work ahead of me.

Whenever I've had success, I never learn from it. Success usually breeds a degree of hubris. When you fail, that's when you learn.

It is not surprising, then, that in the decade since Oslo began, Arafat used all the resources placed at his disposal to fan the flames of hatred against Israel.