I love the Constitution and government of this land, but I hate the damned rascals that administer the government.

You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.

Your endowment is, to receive all those ordinances in the house of the Lord, which are necessary for you, after you have departed this life, to enable you to walk back to the presence of the Father.

If you have a bad thought about yourself, tell it to go to hell because that is exactly where it came from.

I have no wife whom I love so well that I would not put a javelin through her heart, and I would do it with clean hands.

He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool.

He that confesseth not that Jesus has come in the flesh and sent Joseph Smith with the fullness of the Gospel to this generation, is not of God, but is anti-christ

The only men who become Gods, even the Sons of God, are those who enter into polygamy

The best remedy for anger is delay.

Pray as if all depended on God and work as if all depended upon you.

We should never permit ourselves to do anything that we are not willing to see our children do.

I don't believe any scientific field to be superior to another.

What you work for, you will receive.

I feel liquefied, like a cucumber forgotten in the crisper drawer, and I want to hold myself at arm's length and carry me to the trash. Who is this sack of slush masquerading as me? It's intolerable.

Depending on where my self-confidence was, growing up, I would use humor either to bring people closer, or to keep them away from certain feelings I had.

Pure friendship is something which men of an inferior intellect can never taste.

Kids don't lack capacity, only teachers.

I always used to tell my players that we are here to win! And you know what, Al? When you don't win, you lose.

The president's [Donald Trump] approval rating is much higher than the media's approval rating and Congress' approval rating, for that matter.

If the guy likes/loves you, he won't care if you are a good kisser or not. He should like you for what you are - not how you kiss.

I love to be able to support other women comics.