I love the absurd - kind of absurdist comedy, absurd things in life.

I came out of the womb waving red lipstick.

From a really young age, I was into female empowerment and supporting the underdog. Right now, I'm into female vengeance.

The awesome thing about being an artist? You can't be fired from your own mind.

It's my job to spread deviance to the American youth.

I still say I can do whatever I want as long as I'm not hurting anybody else. I don't understand why more people aren't like that.

I think working with artists is incredibly important for everybody in the world, but also, it is a way of seeing the world differently.

I think if I had lived back in Salem, I would have been burned at the stake

Why should I downplay myself to make someone else more comfortable?

It wasn't that I was shy to go out with him, I just didn't want people with preconceived notions to assume anything about why we were together. I was pretty careful for a while.

I'm a pussycat unless you do something to one of my friends. Then I'll think of unique ways to get back at you. I'm more creative than your average bear.

Forgiveness is the virtue of the courageous, the response of the forgiven, the mercy of the just.

Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.

Couldn't start the morning without caffeine.

Whole phases of comedy have become empty; the comic rejoinder has become every man's tool.

What could be more convincing, moreover, than the gesture of laying one's cards face up on the table?

Thinking so hard on her soft eyes and memories of the signs that it's over. It's over.

First rule of magic? Always be the smartest guy in the room.

You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?

I always go to the Agriculture Building, where they make apple cider popsicles for a dollar.

Sometimes economists in official positions give bad advice; sometimes they give very, very bad advice; and sometimes they work at the OECD.