I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.

Before you go to bed, write down three 'gratefuls' for the day and three 'did wells' (they can even include something as simple as doing the laundry)-the results can be amazing!

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

You have to have faith that there is a reason you go through certain things. I can't say I'm glad to go through pain, but in a way one must, in order to gain courage and really feel joy.

If someone tells you that you cannot do something and you believe it, they are right.

It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.

No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Cultivating daily calm, even for a few minutes, yields a core of centered wellness.

A life might end, but sometimes their case lives forever.

You're good salesman, if you make people buyproduct they don't need.

If you can't say it to me in front of my kids, don't say it.

Babies and language are the essential ingredients of civilization, and speakers of language no more know where it came from than babies know where they come from.

I am an immigrant with a Green Card and, therefore, I am not eligible to vote in a federal election.

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

Of all human activities, education is the one most likely to give rise to cant, pomposity and fraudulent expertise.

I am a Gemini and can adapt to most atmospheres. You get two for the price of one when you are a Gemini.

(Sarah Palin's) greatest hypocrisy is in her pretense that she is a woman.