I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'

I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'

Theodore Roosevelt's father wrote him, "I fear for your future. We cannot stand so corrupt a government for any great length of time.

I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.

My heart hurt so much I can't believe it. How can it keep beating, feeling like this?

You can never plan anything, you're never guaranteed anything. As long as I'm getting the work and it's quality then I'm happy. But you never know.

I think the one thing for me that's been working is just authenticity.

My religion centers in different areas than what's considered conventional religion.

Let's face it, making movies is all risk. Most of the time, batting average-wise, the reward does not outweigh the risk.

I can't imagine loving somebody more than I love Wyatt [my son]. I can't. I just don't know how that's possible.

Good manners make any man a pleasure to be with. Ask any woman.

Perfection can never be attained by work.