I love to have battles of the wits with people that can dish fast and dirty - and it leads to problems occasionally, 'cause I can sound mean without attempting to be mean.

Culinary tradition is not always based on fact. Sometimes it's based on history, on habits that come out of a time when kitchens were fueled by charcoal.

Slicing a warm slab of bacon is a lot like giving a ferret a shave. No matter how careful you are, somebody's going to get hurt.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

My college degree was in theater. But the real reason, if I have any success in that milieu, so to speak, is because I spent a lot of years directing, I spent a lot of years behind the camera

Laughing brains are more absorbent.

Cooking is an observation-based process that you can't do if you're so completely focused on a recipe.

So on one hand, honey is an amazingly sophisticated and efficient food source. On the other hand, it's bee backwash.

I had kicked around the idea for Good Eats when I was directing commercials.

A lot of food shows need only to tempt. Some food shows only need to inspire, to empower. And there are a lot of shows that do that.

A home cook who relies too much on a recipe is sort of like a pilot who reads the plane's instruction manual while flying.

Anybody auditions for X-Factor it's because they want to be famous, not because they are artists.

Bob Dole is going to be appearing in a Pepsi commercial with Britney Spears. Yeah, apparently Dole says that if this doesn't cure his erectile dysfunction, nothing will.

I'm running for president because everyday Americans and their families need a champion, and I want to be that champion. I want to make the words middle class mean something again.

You can't miss what you never had.

Wealth is walking into any bookshop and buying any book you want without looking at the price tag.

God always seems bigger to those who need him most. And suffering is the tool he uses to help us need him more.

You've got to realize the world will never be the same.

Everyday there are people in our world that do absolutely amazing things. People of all ages are very capable of doing tremendous, courageous things in spite of their fear.

I stand up for what I believe in and a lot of the time that can be against people's opinion.

A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.