I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Narrow the focus, take the ascent one step at a time, and it's amazing what odds a man can beat.

Every act of loving affirms the goodness of the lover just because he is capable of loving and being loved.

... and she held out a pretty gold ring. 'Put it,' she said, 'on the fourth finger of my left hand, and I am yours and you are mine; and we shall leave Earth and make our own Heaven yonder.'

I think sometimes the media eggs on a lot of things and makes it worse. That's what puts a lot of things in people's heads.

I just want fiction to remain a vital force for entertainment and not just for contemplation. Both things can exist.

Let freedom never perish in your hands.

Life, the raw material, is only lived in potentia until the artist deploys it in his work.

Where there is a question of economy, I prefer privation.

Never judge someone By the way he looks Or a book by the way it's covered; For inside those tattered pages, There's a lot to be discovered

I'm a lazy writer. My idea of heaven is not writing. On the other hand, I'm obviously compulsive about it.