I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

Human science fragments everything in order to understand it, kills everything in order to examine it.

Austerity, if I were to define, I'll say, It's YOU.

Two types of people laugh at the law: those that break it and those that make it.

You largely constructed your depression. It wasn't given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it.

God is letting me shine, because I've got a good heart.

The average woman today is almost completely out of touch with her own power.

Translation is at best an echo.

All those evil doctrines about God that work misery and madness have their origin in the brains of the wise and prudent, not in the hearts of children.

You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.

So will I turn her virtue into pitch, And out of her own goodness make the net That shall enmesh them all.